A little about me

Anka – About (a "few" words)

Writing is my passion. Unfortunately I stopped writing in 2000, as life got the better of me, and misery and heartbreak were no longer there to inspire me. Over the course of the first 22 years of my life I wrote two unfinished novels, 68 poems, 13 diaries, countless articles, short stories and essays. This website showcases only some of my literary works and is intended to keep me focused to follow my passion again… the love for changing people’s lives with at least one of my thoughts.

I was born on a sunny autumn Wednesday in 1978, from two beautiful, young and in-love Romanians, in the capital city of Romania, Bucharest.
My parents worked for the air force in the city of Buzau. My mother was a secretary and my father was a very well educated officer, working his way up in the ranks and also working for the secret service, in a then communist Romania.

I had a happy and worry free upbringing in the city of Buzau, surrounded by a very loving family and many friends my age. The best memories I have from my early childhood are those of me playing outside the four story apartment block with some of the boys and girls, either in the fluffy white snow of our -20˚C winters, or by the river running near our city, in the summer time.

Unfortunately that bliss didn’t last long as, at the age of seven, my parents finally divorced after six months of horrific beatings my mother and I endured from my heart-broken cheated father. He left to live on the other side of the country with his new found affection, while my mother tried to put her life back together with her lover. It was very hard for me to come to terms with the separation from my father, whom I continued to idolize until the age of eighteen. I only saw him once a year, generally around my birthday, and only for a few hours, or a day to two at most. Eventually the pain faded away, and a more “real” father was to be revealed to me at a later stage.

I lived only with my mother from the age of seven until the age of eighteen… it was just the two of us, the relationship with the other man not working out after a couple of years. I was still happy, I had a close relationship with my mother and I believe I was what some would call a “good girl”, even through my teenage years.
I went to school at the age of seven and in my first year of school I read my fist two books: The Greek Mythology, book of the Gods and the book of Heroes. I loved the stories so much that I inspired my classmates to play them out, pretending they were Greek gods… I was Aphrodite.

When I was nine my father had a second daughter, whom I met properly for the first time at the age of fifteen, when I got the chance to meet the rest of my father’s family (my five uncles, one aunty and numerous cousins I had never met before). Unfortunately the family wasn’t close and we didn’t keep in touch since.

I spent most of my early childhood summers at my grandmother’s house (on my mother’ side) together with my cousin, Daniela, who was more like a sister to me. She is three years older than me and she taught me to think outside the box and consider such views as feminism, the mystic and extra-terrestrials. I was very close to my mother’s family (her parents, her sister and her sister’s younger daughter). I would later become close to my aunt’s oldest daughter, Beatrice, when she also immigrated to Australia in 1998.

In December 1989 a country wide event marked me with its scenes of mass protests, fear, hatred, guns, blood, destruction and death, then excitement and new notions of freedom and hope. Since my mother still worked as a secretary in the government’s secret police, I had front line access to scenes that not many young children are exposed to. I was however, blissfully unaware of the gravity of such events unfolding during the Romanian revolution against the dictatorship of Ceausescu and his communist party.

At the age of eleven I fell in love for the first time. It was more of an obsession for my best friend’s (Monica) brother, who was my neighbour and was five years older than me. I loved (obsessed over) this young man for ten years and I only truly gave up on him when I finally met my true love. Viorel was the inspiration for many of my early works, and because he did not share the same feelings for me, most of my early poetry is quite sad. He was also the focus of my first novel, which I started at the age of twelve. It was set during the Second World War and it revolved around four friends (me, my best friend, her brother, and his best friend) whom were in their early twenties and working in the air force (go figure). Funnily enough, Viorel was also into aircraft and had many models and posters of old and new designs. Because of him I also became very interested in reading science-fiction. Up until then I was reading a lot of classic novels, by classic Romanian, French and English/American authors (some of those being Vasile Alecsandri, Ion Creangă, Mihai Eminescu, Honoré de Balzac, Jules Vernes, Mark Twain, Bram Stoker and many, many others).

Once I became interested in science-fiction I started reading many of the books in Viorel’s library. Some of the authors were Ray Bradbury, Arthur C. Clarke, Isaac Asimov, H.G. Wells and my favourite… Frank Herbert. I became quite involved with the book series Dune and I read all of them over the years. This series was the very foundation of my science-fiction thinking and writing.

In 1991, at the age of 13, inspired by all those books, my father's passion of discovering the sky and my cousin's feminist views of how the world should work, I started writing my second novel called "Inceputul Sfarsitului" (The Beginning of the End). I came up with various charts of a new solar system in the Lyra constellation and even though I had no knowledge of astronomy, I tried my best to come up with a realistic new world/worlds for my story. A few years later some chapters would be published in a Romanian editorial. I later started translating the unfinished novel in English and changed its name to Lyra 7 - The Beginning of the End.

At the age of twelve, while exploring my creative side, I decided to join the Arts School of Buzau in the music section, learning to play the viola and piano. However, my passion for literature was still greater. I continued to read a lot and write (two novels, various poetry and personal diaries) and therefore decided to focus on literature in high school. I left the Arts School and applied at the best high school in Buzau… the same one that Viorel went to. Unfortunately this school’s focus was on maths and physics and since I wasn’t too good at either I didn’t pass the maths entrance exam. Even though I scored a 9 out of 10 in the literature exam, I didn’t get into that high school, so I was forced to apply to the only other school left unfilled, the Sports High School. I was however placed in the philology class (literature and languages focus) and that’s where I continued to develop my knowledge, to explore various writing styles, to publish my work for the first time and to make new and wonderful friends.

In grade 9 at the age of fifteen I participated in the National Literature High School Competition and placed 4th out of over 200 competitors in my city. The first published piece of writing was my poem titled Particle (white verse), in the editorial Avangarda, in 1995. Unfortunately I do not have a copy of that edition, but I will continue to search for it.

When I was sixteen I was invited by one of my father’s brothers to stay in Germany over the summer holiday, to help him take care of his son while he and his wife were in Europe (she was on a diplomatic mission there, representing Australia). This is when I first started speaking English (very little and broken) and I quite enjoyed it.

That year I also met my first boyfriend, a Theology student my age, Mihai, which my best friend Monica liked first, but for whom he didn’t have any feelings. I never stopped regretting my betrayal as my friendship with Monica ended as a result. This young and innocent relationship with Mihai didn’t last more than six months, as I soon had to make a life changing decision which didn’t include him.

In the summer of 1995 (around June or July) I received a letter from my father telling me that he was migrating to Australia and I had the opportunity to join him and his new family (his wife and my 7 year old half-sister, Andreea). I had less than a year to decide and yes, it was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made in my life, knowing that I would leave everything I knew and was used to behind, joining a new family, living in a new country, speaking a new language… My mother was forced to sell her apartment and most of her possessions to allow me to come to Australia. In late June 1996 I arrived at the Brisbane airport with my father’s family and was greeted by my youngest uncle, Adrian, and his wife. 

We lived with my uncle for three months, then my father rented a house in the eastern suburbs of Brisbane. I attended a language school for two months, where my first piece of writing (on Pauline Hanson) was published. I then went on to do the last three months of year 10 and subsequently years 11 and 12 at Oxley Secondary College. At the same time, my uncle helped my dad and I get jobs at the Brisbane Convention and Exhibition Centre (my dad started as a cleaner and I started as a Kitchen Hand).

In the meantime, in Romania, various editorials were publishing some of my works and amongst those, chapters of my novel, The Beginning of the End (Lyra 7).
After only a few short months of living with my father it became very obvious to me that I was not accepted in his new family and after many fights and tearful nights I decided to move back in with my uncle. I only stayed there for 6 months as there no longer was any more room for me once his first baby was born. He forced me to move back in with my father after a financial dispute which originally cost me most of my hard earned money (which I used for bond, books, clothes, transport etc.) until a few years later, when I decided to let the law take care of the matter and eventually got my money back to use for my university expenses. The two years spent with my father’s family were some of the hardest in my life, even though I began to love my little sister, Andreea, who was also looking up to me a lot.

It was not long before I was reading novels in English (less than a year actually), as I really enjoyed the language and wanted to be proficient in it quickly. In fact, I was always annoyed by the question “Where’s that accent from?” as I just wanted to blend in with the rest of the students and not be labelled an outsider.

In year 11 I was fluent enough in English to attend a writers’ camp and write an article for the University of Queensland, International House of Journalism, 1997 World Understanding and Peace Journalism Competition, which won Best Year 11 Entry. It was then also published in the Lost Dog journal. In year 12 I participated in the Lions Youth of the Year Quest debating competition and won the Oxley-Sherwood level, the Zone level and came in 3rd in the Region level in March 1998, above competitors from many other prominent high schools in Queensland. At the same time The Weekly Times wrote an article about me, which the Convention and Exhibition Centre commented on in their internal publication.

I was together with my first boyfriend in Australia, Andrew, for only 6 months, as I didn’t feel a real connection with him and he was living a very tumultuous and dangerous life at the time. He did participate however, in a very important event of my life, my citizenship ceremony, in September 1998.

In December 1998 I was accepted at both University of Queensland and Melbourne University. I was contemplating moving to Melbourne with my new best friend, Sonia (for whom I also started developing some strange and new feelings and who was the inspiration for some of my English poems). As I had no money, selling my first computer to go on a visit back to Romania for 2 months before I started university, I decided to remain in Brisbane and to start Journalism and International Relations at the University of Queensland. I also decided to move out on my own and found a cheap one bedroom unit in West End, across the river from the university.

I was deprived of any sort of fun celebrations for both my 18th and my 21st birthdays, however, my new best friend from UQ, Helen, made me a wonderful chocolate cake on my birthday in 1999, just so I could make a wish and feel special on my very special day. The wish came true two days later, at 11:30PM, on the dance floor of Viva nightclub, which we attended on weekends with some other new friends from university.

That’s when I met Michael, “the man of my life” (as I asked in my wish to meet), the love of my life, my true love. The first year of our relationship wasn’t easy, as he was 3 and ½ years younger than me. Sonia also had a big part to play in our tumultuous off-again-on-again love affair, as she was also hurt by a bad decision I made relating to a member of her family (who took advantage of me) and the fact that she had also developed feelings for me. After many breakups, movie moments, soap-opera ups and downs, Michael and I settled in our relationship by the end of year 2000. During this time he also inspired me to start a second university course, in theatre and writing, at Griffith University on the Gold Coast, where he was attending a Musical Technology course himself. His passion had been music composing and DJ-ing for many years before we met, and remained one of his passions over the years we spent together. Over the course of 1 and ½ years I was attending a full time course at UQ (four subjects in Political Science and International Relations), a full time course at Griffith Uni (three subjects in Creative Writing and Theatre) and two to three casual or part-time jobs at a time, to pay for all my expenses. Most of the time I didn’t have enough money for food and as a result of that and the added stress of too much work and a rough love life, I lost a lot of weight and became anaemic.

A very strange and inexplicable event in my life happened at the end of July 2000, when, on a short vacation at Michael’s grandmother’s unit on the Gold Coast, I “saw” the next 30 or so years of my life unfold. I told Michael that we would break up three more times before the end of the year, when we would get back together for good, that we would move in together early 2001, that we would get married when he’s 22 and we would have two children, a boy and a girl. I also saw that we would be very successful and accomplished individuals, that we would become richer than we could imagine, however, when the children are teenagers, something would happen in our relationship and I would become quite miserable, although I did not see us getting a divorce. Because of this “premonition” he broke up with me that night.

After two more breakups, by the beginning of 2001 (on Valentine ’s Day) Michael & I decided to move in together on the Gold Coast and we rented our first unit on Chevron Isl for one year. We bought our first pet, a black cat we named Lilu (pronounced Leelu), and worked out all the household chores, finances, parties etc, just like a married couple. We were forced to move back to Brisbane in 2002 due to lack of finances and income opportunities, and we lived with Michael’s parents for 6 months (for which I also worked for half a year prior to us moving in together at the Coast). I really liked his parents from the beginning (especially his mother) and I think they also liked me. We eventually rented another unit in a south Brisbane suburb for about four years. During this time I decided to put my Griffith degree on hold and finish the one at UQ. I graduated in Bachelor of Arts in 2002, majoring in Political Science and International Relations. My initial intention was to follow on with a cadetship in Foreign Affairs in Canberra, with the prospect of eventually becoming an ambassador for Australia in Europe. That plan changed when I met Michael and fell in love with him immediately, deciding to stay in Queensland with him. He stopped his Griffith degree after a year and a half also and took various part time jobs in sales, until he got a permanent customer service position in the insurance industry. Due to financial restraints I was also forced to take the first full time job I could find as a sales consultant for a general insurance company and a year later brought Michael in to work for this company also.

In 2002, on my birthday, Michael took me away on a wonderful three day weekend full of surprises, spoiling me and proposing marriage to me by the end of it. We were married by the end of September 2004 (when he was 22 and a half) and that’s when I saw my mother again for the first time in six years, as she visited Australia and lived with us for six months. Over the next few years I changed various jobs, moving from insurance sales to administration, to finance and lending, to process and procedure and then to accounting and management. I became very proficient with computers and even got into online gaming together with Michael. We ended up building “empires” and entire communities of players through our in game guilds and gaming websites.

Michael also changed jobs and eventually made his way to working in IT, his other lifelong passion. On the 6th of the 6th 2006 we settled on our first house, a property we owned in Acacia Ridge for three years. We renovated it and were planning on renting it out while we expanded our property portfolio. Unfortunately, due to the Global Financial Crisis of 2008, I was made redundant from my prominent position of finance underwriter within Suncorp Bank, just as I committed to sponsor my mother to migrate to Australia permanently. My mother arrived in Australia in October 2008 and by the beginning of 2009 we were forced to sell our home and move. We decided to return to the place which held the most beautiful memories we made together, the Gold Coast. We rented a three bedroom apartment at the gorgeous Main Beach and lived there with my mother. We were both still working in Brisbane for six months before I got a job on the coast and Michael took the first steps in starting our own business in I.T. Just as we took this big risk on I receive the first best surprise of our married life yet. In February 2009 I found out that I was pregnant. This good news was soon to be shadowed by the tragic reality that my father was diagnosed with stage four brain cancer in August of 2009 and was given three months to live. I prayed that he lived to see his first grandchild…

On a bright early morning of mid October 2010 my son Kassian was born and it was indeed the second happiest moment of my life (first one being Michael declaring his love for me). I had to quit my job and I remained a stay at home mum to look after our baby, and help Michael with accounts, graphics and web design while he continued to build up the business. My father had the opportunity to meet his grandson a couple of times, and he also got the chance to see his second daughter as a bride, when Andreea visited him in hospital in her wedding gown, after her wedding day in May 2011. On a sad day of early June 2011, after a 10 month battle with cancer, he finally found his peace. On the same day, my sister-in-law, Elena (Michael’s sister) was married to her husband, Brad. After many decades of bitterness and jealousy, my mother and my father’ second wife, Lenuta, finally learned to tolerate one another, and even talk to each other at various family events after. We slowly found happiness again with my husband’s family, as his sister, Elena, also had a son a year and a half after Kassian was born.

Once again, financial pressures forced us to make the decision to move back to Brisbane, this time renting a bigger place together with Michael’s parents, whom were also going through some tough financial times after they were forced to sell their home. And then, the second nice surprise came to cheer us up… I fell pregnant with our second child in June 2012 and Lyra was born on a beautiful Sunday in March 2013.

Over the past fourteen years Michael and I have discovered that we are two “opposite sides of the same wave length” (as he likes to describe us), like yin and yang, where one is “white” and the other is “black” but we both understand the other’s point of view because each also has a small component of the other person’s personality and experience in ourselves. We have had many philosophical discussions and share many similar views, whilst we are also opposed on some (such as death, or our existence). We both share a love of movies, sci-fi TV shows, computer games, socializing and life enjoyment in general.

And this brings us up to today. There are many, many special events and moments from my life so far not mentioned in this “short” commentary, but I will endeavour to include them all in my autobiography, later in life.